A Little Grace Goes A Long Way

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Here is a great article from Forbes “who can argue with that” magazine, that I think you (Vini) aught to take a gander at. When a Co-Worker Takes Credit For Your Work.

You appear to have enlisted the help of someone who didn’t quite make it to the mayor seat to help you figure out how to help you follow through all the fluff you promised while taking credit for all the work your predecessor actually did. Then my suggestion is to swallow your pride and seek the advice of someone who is actually qualified to assist you and then, dun-dun-duuuun…give him some credit for his work. Gasp! I know. Or just keep going on vilifying good folks and see how well all the characters who have been the center of mischief can be of use.

We all know you are counting on the uninformed, but what happens when they slowly become informed? It doesn’t take a genius to figure out 4 weeks in office (well, 3 including your vacation) could not possibly produce what you are claiming credit for. A little grace goes a long way.

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“Dearest Aberdeen”

Dearest Aberdeen,

It’s Tom. I know I said I wouldn’t call or write or film you from my van anymore but with Valentine’s Day coming up and all, I thought I’d wipe my tears and write you a letter. Here goes.

It’s not you, it’s me. Look, I know I said some classless, rude, stupid remarks to you on my video blog – you know, the one you used to call “Thursday night with “Bender” and “Rant””- you never liked my blog! You were always jealous!!! the NAME is “Montesano Tuesday”!!! GET IT RIGHT!!!!!!!! Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That was the drink talking, I’m sorry. Anywhoooo…. I want to say I’m sorry for broadcasting that you don’t know how to use deodorant and telling everyone how hideous you would be if you managed to slim down to 2 lanes in downtown. It was wrong of me to tell everyone to shop in Olympia and avoid Aberdeen. That was wrong of me baby. It’s just that I got a big head about Ex-Ed and Vini asking me to be a part of her campaign okay? Yes, all the things I said turned out to be wrong, but hey, she won the election anyway didn’t she?! I know you will NEVER be proud of me for that or ANYTHING I DO, I was never good enough for you…. But, but, that’s okay, that’s okay.

I miss you Aberdeen. I was driving through the other day – I was in the neighborhood that’s all – and you… You looked good. You slimmed down to 2 lanes just like you said you would and you seem like you have worked some things out. I hear you have a new man. I didn’t think charming, strong and sophisticated was your type? And isn’t Erik Larson a little young for you? Well, that’s fine. He seems to really like you and I hope you will both…(sniffle)…be…(tears)…very…(sobbing)… Happy together. But, Aberdeen, if you ever feel like you are tired of Eric treating you right and you miss being put down and criticized by the new Monte mayor’s lemmings, (whisper)… give me a caaaaall.

Love & Happy V-day.

 

 

 

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Monte city hall cookbook now on sale – ’50 Shades of Gravy’

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAHeard about the cookbook coming out of Monte city hall? You wont want to miss “50 shades of gravy.”  Featuring such mouth watering recipes as:

Dan’s Bait n Switch Stew.  Tastes like Council seat, smells like Mayor.
Tyler Truffles.  So light it feels like eating nothing at all.  It will stab you in the back if eaten to excess.
Compton Crudites for the ex editor on the path to no where.  Served with crusty bread bites that dodge any semblence of truth.
Russ’ Sticky Fingers and Rice
Niki Nests just looking for gravy from the new pro-tem to make sure she colors inside the line, or where he says…huh Dan?
Ashlock Artificial Angel Food Cake. Extra  spite in every byte!
Burke brew. Takes bait, less filling.
Candyed Yes ma’am Yams. Don’t let a bankrupt spice bin hold you back… bland is the new rich with this dish.
Pay Back Fritters  give those you bought a wad of flour fried in grease and move on.
Tavern  2 – Step Turnovers. When your feeding your cronies might as well dance

Don’t forget:

Coronation Cookies. Bet you cant eat just one.
Ryans Rye Bread. 100% tasteless!
– CFO – Candy For One on the taxpayers dime

Watch for sequels “Baking Bad”, “A Turkey In Every Crock” and “The Snacking Dead.”

To order your very own copy of “50 Shades of Gravy”, dial 1-800-Free-WiFi.

 

 

 

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A Tale of Less Witty

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/36/MiniHouseOfCards.jpgWith all …eh-hem… due respect, Tom, I halfway understand your attempt to make it appear as though there are only a couple of “out of town” people against your successful smear campaign and consequent “house of cards” at city hall.


Does trying to marginalize citizens who realize 90% of the costly troublemakers were dancing with each other at a local tavern last week celebrating a fictitious coup make that second cup of kool aid go down a little smoother?


You are correct in feeling the call to damage control with your recent post.


After an impartial court slammed all accounts of the “injustice” you have been spinning to anyone and everyone who will listen to you as a completely unfounded waste of time, costing Montesano citizens big bucks, I would think a little scrambling would be in order. Well done.


As to directing those that give you ear to disregard their own eyes- eyes that have been witness to MANY a local citizen voicing opposition to the characters you support-, that is your business. However, pointing fingers in a “wag the dog” attempt to blame a loss on those that have been proven to report a more accurate version of events than you, is like blaming the library for providing the fuel necessary for the fire your friend Ex-Ed poured the gas on and egged you on to strike the match. Essentially, your cistern holds no water.


The current defamation lawsuit smoking on your desk would imply the possibility that you may not be the most trusted source for character assessment and judgment; I’m just sayin’.


In the spirit of the season, let’s just agree to not agree and watch as things unfold. It is Father Time who ultimately knows who’s naughty or nice and who eventually forces the hand of every card holder on the table. Cheers.

 

Creative Commons image; by Arealast

A Monte-ish Thanksgiving

Mmmm…. smell that? It’s the smell of pumpkin pie and visiting relatives. Boy those kids grow up to be teens faster than you can say “deodorant,” don’t they?
Nothin like a full house with your kinfolk and some good eats to make a feller grateful. So here are a few things I like to give thanks for:

I’d like to thank my vets and the good Lord too. My friends are many, my foes are few.

Grateful for real reporters who investigate real stories, involving fake journalists who work political forays.

Glad I ain’t a lawyer…come on Judgment Day. Grateful that the turkeys haven’t had the final say.

I’m grateful for yams n hams n granny’s pies, grateful when I check my facts, my facts ain’t yeller lies… Thankful that not everyone’s so easily been had… grateful that I don’t still live with mom n dad.

Got my parking lot painted by a busy friend of mine with some left over paint from a handicap sign. All in all, been a perdy good year.

So as I sit down to my plate full of grub, I’m glad I’m not a gobbler in the “just desserts” club.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

 

Image –

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She has an ‘Invisible Touch’

Hello, this is KYULI. Tonight is dedication night. This one goes out to Vini from her supporters. Phill Collins, “Invisible Touch.” Everybody sing!

Well I’ve been waiting, waiting here so long
But thinking nothing, nothing could go wrong, but now I know
She has a built in ability
To take everything she sees
And now it seems I’m falling, falling for her. …

… She don’t like losing, to her it’s still a game
Though she’ll mess up your life, you’ll want her just the same, now I know
She has a built in ability
To take everything she sees
And now it seems I’ve fallen, fallen for her. …

Have fun!