ATTENTION MONTESANO

We’ve been sitting on this for   a while but think its time to bring you in.

We’re under attack. Some people don’t like what we’re doing. They don’t want you to hear the other side of a story. They think their side is the ONLY side. We’ve been targeted. Threats have been made. Some of are fans are being harrassed and attacked. Some of their kids have been targeted. We’re not going to get into details here but if you see or hear things or if you or someone you know is being threatened or bullied because their not toeing the Montesano party line, talk to law enforcement.

To the cowards we’re talking about we’ve got news for you. We will not shut up. We will not sit down. We will not be silenced. We’re not going away.

 

 

 

 

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LEGEND IN HIS OWN MIND Seeks… Something

Manga kid head vector illustrationAttention Montesano. Gone are the days when you can count on semi-drool-free nutterings from a blogger operating in our fair city. This is because a legend in his own mind is here to single-handedly save us from the Vidette even tho he can’t spell worth a rat’s butt. Yah, the same OCDer who gave you fake endorsements, declared war on the Vidette, urged you to boycott the harbor and shop Olympia and floated jihadi bus tours is now doing what he’s tizzying about the Vidette doing~begging for bucks to fund his delusions of grandeur. Yes friends for the low, low bargain basement price of just 10 thousand smackeroos you too can help our favorite Montesano nut job get a day job and his very own office space! Donate before midnight and get free ice cream in Fleet park!

We have close to 200,000 views a week. Candy… want to sell more food with a flair? Tom… want to move more affordable hand-crafted Victorian reproductions? Advertise with us! We have plans. If you have plans or office space to let dial 1-800-NUT-CASE. Zoloft contributions welcome. This offer good for one week. After that it turns into a pumpkin.

 

 

 

 

public domain foto

THE DAY AFTER

In association with Time for Chains productions, Vinio Studios proudly presents these feature films. Coming soon to a big screen near you:

 

A Slither Runs Through It

American Snooper

Atlas Pugged

Bum and Bummer

Cash of the $pite-ans

The Concrete Bungle

Catching Ire

Chances With Wolves

Cool Hand Puke

Despicable See

Dirty Rotten Poundrels

Drear and Present Changer

Gone With the Spin

The Greatest Slow on Earth

Haterix Reloaded

The Imitation Blame

Independence Slay

Jurassic Lark

Kiss Family RobbingSome

The Lizard of Ahs

My Son Vinocchio

Maleficent, Pt. 2

My Spare Lady

Old Seller

The Outlaw Rusty Wails

Planet of the Tapes

The Porne Supremacy

Revenge of the Vinpire

Sh**ty-Sh**ty Wi Fi

The Sound of Bankruptcy

Spamelot

Spice Age: The Kneltdown

Star Wreck: The Next Generation

Sum of All Tears

Tax-U-La

True Spit

The Twin Sours

Vitanic

The Way We Were (Again)

What About Blob

Wriggly Down Under

Mayberry RIP

 

No names have been changed to protect the innocent because there aren’t any. Almost no animals were harmed in the filming of these productions.

 

 

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Vini Samuel For Mayor!

File:Spiderweb.jpgNo one likes to admit when they’re wrong. But when you’re wrong, you’re wrong. Best to put on your big boy pants and admit it. So that’s what fellow contributors and I have decided to do.

We realized that what Montesano really needs in the mayors office is a partisan party hack with a string of quits and conflicts on her resume. What this town really needs is a mayor who’s beholden to union bosses, the Grays Harbor Democrats, out of town donors and special interests who don’t live or work in Montesano and can’t even vote here. What this town needs is a puppet who’ll say whatever her campaign tells her to in order to get elected. What Montesano really needs to “restore trust” is a divorce lawyer.

Who needs integrity or independence or decisiveness when you can get free juice and wi fi instead?

That’s why we proudly endorse Vini Samuel for Mayor. Ballots are due Tuesday.

 

 

Josef F. Stuefer

Flickr

Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.

The Most Honest Vini for Mayor Ad You’ll Ever See

ElfVini’s talking heads tell her she’s running for mayor. So she is.

Look! She has the conviction to do nachos! The “courage to coffee”! The experience to cram “work together” and “wi fi” into every sentence! Watch those dramatic camera angles.

Don’t let the “Gil for President” tagline fool you. This is the most honest “Vini for Mayor” ad you’ll ever see. Check out that 5 Step Plan!

For the right price, she’ll approve whatever message her marketing team tells her to!

 

 

 

Image – public domain