Here’s the Plan

A dark room. No visible faces, quiet voices.

Voice 1: We made them a bunch of promises. We need to make noises like we’re trying to keep the promises.

Voice 2: I wrote something alarming about how messed up the budget is that the last guys left us. About how broke we really are and about how their optimistic projections were completely unrealistic. I said “crisis,” and “train wreck,” and “tens of thousands.” That should buy us some time.

Voice 3: What if they decide to go look up real numbers?

V1: We’ll make them pay for public records. That’ll slow them down, if they even notice.

V2: Eventually we’ll have to actually do something that looks like we’re keeping promises.

V1: Let’s buy some land.

V2: I just told them the budget is a mess and that we don’t have any money. We just used the budget as an excuse to lay off two clerks. And we just paid a ton of money to a contractor for screwing up Main Street.

V1: Let’s buy some land, and let’s spend a few more thousand out on the end of town where nobody goes. We’ll claim it’s a soccer thing.

V3: What if people ask how we’re spending all this money after saying we’re in money trouble?

V2: They’re not that smart.

V1: Come on. Where’s your team spirit? Say it together. Let’s go. Free Wi Fi!

Voices in unison: Free Wi Fi, Free Wi Fi, Free Wi Fi

V1: I can’t hear you!

FREE WI FI! FREE WI FI!

 

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