“Dearest Aberdeen”

Dearest Aberdeen,

It’s Tom. I know I said I wouldn’t call or write or film you from my van anymore but with Valentine’s Day coming up and all, I thought I’d wipe my tears and write you a letter. Here goes.

It’s not you, it’s me. Look, I know I said some classless, rude, stupid remarks to you on my video blog – you know, the one you used to call “Thursday night with “Bender” and “Rant””- you never liked my blog! You were always jealous!!! the NAME is “Montesano Tuesday”!!! GET IT RIGHT!!!!!!!! Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That was the drink talking, I’m sorry. Anywhoooo…. I want to say I’m sorry for broadcasting that you don’t know how to use deodorant and telling everyone how hideous you would be if you managed to slim down to 2 lanes in downtown. It was wrong of me to tell everyone to shop in Olympia and avoid Aberdeen. That was wrong of me baby. It’s just that I got a big head about Ex-Ed and Vini asking me to be a part of her campaign okay? Yes, all the things I said turned out to be wrong, but hey, she won the election anyway didn’t she?! I know you will NEVER be proud of me for that or ANYTHING I DO, I was never good enough for you…. But, but, that’s okay, that’s okay.

I miss you Aberdeen. I was driving through the other day – I was in the neighborhood that’s all – and you… You looked good. You slimmed down to 2 lanes just like you said you would and you seem like you have worked some things out. I hear you have a new man. I didn’t think charming, strong and sophisticated was your type? And isn’t Erik Larson a little young for you? Well, that’s fine. He seems to really like you and I hope you will both…(sniffle)…be…(tears)…very…(sobbing)… Happy together. But, Aberdeen, if you ever feel like you are tired of Eric treating you right and you miss being put down and criticized by the new Monte mayor’s lemmings, (whisper)… give me a caaaaall.

Love & Happy V-day.

 

 

 

Wikipedia commons

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s