He Just Doesn’t Get It

So I was suckin up to some politicians the other day. Ya know, laughing real loud at their jokes, making up stories about veterans, asking if I can clear their plates, get ’em coffee, the usual. But, ya know, they just usually look at me, ya know, kinda weird, turn around, start a conversation with someone else…that always begins with, “aaaaanyway”.

I just don’t get it. Ya know, I do more work on their campaigns than my own. So when I licked my napkin to wipe some nacho cheese off Vini’s face before her picture, she just, ya know, knocked the napkin out the way. I was like, hey, I’m makin a fool outa myself here. How bout fixin a job for me, ya know, for all my effort? And her eminency says to me… “Gunga…gunga-galunga.”

When I turned to Tyler with this, ya know, confused look, he says, “Dan, it means, on your 98th birthday, she will appoint you pontif of middle Earth and you will receive total consciousness.”

So, you can make fun of me, ya know, if you want….but I got that goin’ for me.


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